Emotional control

Question: I have seen where people need to be emotional and have a cry to work out their problems. Can you comment on that?

Answer: That is what our psychologists told us and they misled us. They say, if you express your anger, hatred, and so on, it is exhausted. They do not understand what anger, fear, irritation, excitement, laughter are. So they give wrong advice to us, and we learn in the wrong way. There are schools now in Los Angeles and everywhere where you can go if you are hating someone. You start cursing, saying every kind of ugly thing. Then you are released. Ten months later you are in an asylum. That is a wrong method because every anger, every depression, every emotional thing is an energy characterized by your momentary conditioning, emotional, and mental states. But the bottom line is that energy is wasted. You do not need to waste it. You can see this, for example, in some people, You cannot even understand if they are angry or happy. They are very stoic. You are not going to waste your emotions. Any excitement or emotional state or condition you have is a tremendous amount of energy which you can use for creative and sublimating works.

You are going to use that energy to put in the machine and turn the machine, instead of letting it go. You can do it. You can make it and let it go, but you see what is happening. When you are cursing, when you are angry, you are already polluting all your aura with anger, with hatred, with the jealousy which you are expressing, and then in your turn you are hypnotized by your own voice and expressions. For example, stand there and say, “I am angry, I am angry,” and believe what you are saying. Eventually you will not be able to control your anger. It gets out of hand. They are false psychologists, psychiatrists who brought all this trash to us.

I was with a psychiatrist who said, “Come and attend my classes in an asylum and see how I am doing.” A lady came to see him and she was very angry at her husband. The doctor was going to heal her from that sickness and he said to me, “Just sit in that corner and watch us.” The lady sat by him and he asked, “How angry are you at your husband.” She said, “I am very angry.” He said, “This pillow is your husband. Now do anything you really want to do to your husband and forget that I am seeing you. You are totally alone.”

She took the pillow. She started to chew the pillow. She became so monstrous. Then the doctor said, “Quiet, Quiet, that is enough. You killed him already.” “Did I? Did I?”

The doctor asked me, “How do you like it?” “It is fantastic. You prepared a criminal and you really made her practice what she is going to do.” “What do you mean?”

Six, seven months later she did the same thing to the husband and killed him. That was that kind of psychiatrist. What are you doing? If I tell you, “I hate you. I hate you,” the emotional body is built in such a way that I really hate you because I believe what I am saying. But, on the contrary, you can say, “I really do not like you, but I am trying to love you. Eventually I will find a way to have a more loving relationship with you instead of hating you.”

Absolutely I am not with all these people who teach violent ways and means to heal people or make them laugh and scream. It has totally the opposite result.

If you become angry, sit down and drink a cup of water or run around the block. If you are angry, run; if you are depressed, run. Do something so that you use that energy for something beneficial, not just for exhausting and blasting Nature.

Question: What happens when you do not show emotions?

Answer: I did not say do not show emotions because actually you cannot prevent emotions from existing and coming to the surface. But I am saying, “Do not put fire on them, oil on them and amplify them one hundred times more than is necessary.” You did something wrong. I feel very bad for you, but I do not star yelling, “I feel bad about it. You are this, that!”

Question: I know someone whose daughter died and he never cried. Everyone thought there was something wrong with a father who did not cry. He was very solemn and calm.

Answer: There should be some outlet but not artificial and an exaggerated outlet. That is what I am talking about. For example, you exaggerate your emotions so much that you get lost in them. Then it turns into hypocrisy to show off  and different things.

What we are talking about is exaggeration, and having control over your energies. The other day I was watching television. The son of a seventy-year-old man and woman was killed in Desert Storm. The mother was very beautiful. The man was very sad, saying, “What can we do?” That is what happened. Their grief was very normal. Then they showed another story of a woman who had lost her husband. She was screaming and rolling all over the place. What is this comedy? Why are you doing that?

-Torkom Saraydarian

Leadership Vol.5