1. I like to use my weight problem to punish myself, to show the world I am no good. I hold on to my guilt because guilt is the way I've always lived; it is what I am used to. I do not know what I would do if I were okay.
2. I like to complain and feel self-pity. It gives me sympathy and attention from my parents and from friends. I'd lose this if I lose weight.
3. Being overweight is a good, safe excuse for not succeeding. Success and power are a threat. I would have to give up being “not okay.” If I am successful, people would become jealous and reject me.
4. Being overweight protects me from sexual intimacy and intimacy in relationships. It proves that no one wants me.
5. Food is safe sex. Food is sensual, accessible, and easy.
6. Food is my friend. It is my only friend and the only thing I can count on. It is someone to come home to.
7. Food makes me feel connected to life and the world.
8. Food is an addiction I cannot live without. It is an abusive lover.
9. Being overweight is a way to be loved and accepted by my parents. If I succeed and lose weight, it'll make my parents wrong because they said I was no good. My mother and father were both heavy, and it would make me different from them. If I give up sweets, my mother would reject me. Sweets were the only form of love I got from my mother. I don't want to be rejected by my parents.
10. Being overweight proves life doesn't work. I enjoy being hateful. I can't let go of my resentments. If I felt good, I couldn't be as angry.
11. It is a sin to feel sexual and love my body.
12. If I got healthy, I would not have anything to talk or complain about. I am afraid to feel too good. I like to worry. I'm afraid to change my self-image.
13. Eating takes away my loneliness, grief, stress, and pain. Eating is a convenient way to stuff my feelings.
14. Overeating and being overweight is a way of numbing myself from the pain and responsibility of life. It allows me not to grow up.
15. I want to die. Life is just too much. I do not want to feel energetic and alive.
16. Lots of foods numb me to the peace and joy of my inner divinity and my relationship with God. My inner light and God scare me. It is safer to eat some more ice cream.
Once the contracting and limiting thoughts are dissolved, one is free to become healthy.
-Gabriel Cousens
Conscious eating
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