Our exaggerated sense of self and our compulsion to find happiness for this larger-than-life self we have fabricated cause us to ignore, neglect and harm others. Of course, it is our right to love and take care of ourselves, but not at the expense of others. While "As long as I'm alright" is our motto, we have no hesitation in acting with total disregard for others.
We may find this description of self-concern altogether too crass to apply to us. "I'm not like that," we object, but though we may not consciously think in this way, when self-concern is operating, our behaviour shows a cold indifference to others. Conflicts between partners, parents and children and with other family members, conflicts between students and teachers and on a larger scale within and between countries have their source in personal and collective self-concern.
..Buddhas and Bodhisattvas see clearly that our neglect of others, our self-preoccupation and our disregard for the connection between actions and their effects are responsible for all our miseries.
-Geshe Sonam Rinchen
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